I have learned a few things about myself over these past couple years. As I have slowed down enough to reflect, ask, ponder, read and listen, I have learned to care for myself in ways I never would have before. I am still learning so much, but may I share with you a few components of my healing? These steps have allowed me to continue moving forward despite my chronic heartache.
1. No should-ing. If the thought in my head is "I should . . ." I generally let go of that thought without action. I don't should. I do lots of things for others out of love and care, but I try very hard not to do things because of an unnecessary obligation placed on me by myself or by someone else. I am responsible for my decisions and actions, but I am not responsible for others' interpretation of them. No shoulds. 2. I give out of my capacity and not my deficit. This goes hand-in-hand with #1. I love to call, encourage, text, invite, bake, visit and whatever else, but only when I have cared for myself enough to have the capacity to care for others. When I am empty (be it physically, emotionally, mentally or spiritually), it is not wise for me to continue to give to others. Love your neighbor as you love yourself (Matthew 22:39) means I have to love and care for myself so that I can love and care for others. Good stewardship says I give what I have - not what I don't. 3. My soul craves time with God. When I started really giving my soul what it needed, it flourished. This time of quiet sitting, listening and just being with God has propelled the intimacy of our relationship in ways I never previously experienced despite years of church attending and Bible study. I have found it to be so invaluable that I will get up at whatever time it takes in order to give my soul the time with God that it craves. 4. I do it for the endorphins. That's what my favorite workout shirt says and it is TRUTH. Endorphins are powerful mood boosters and feel-better hormones that our body naturally produces through various activities. For me, those endorphins flow freely with strenuous exercise. So I run, box, jump rope, lift weights, hit things, push, pull, squat, burpee or whatever I have to do to get the endorphins I need. I know exactly how long my body can go without them before the anxious feelings and depressed mood begin to build and I begin to deteriorate. So, yep, I do it for the endorphins. 5. I can do hard things. This has become somewhat a mantra of mine. My kids hear it all the time. When we are faced with situations that are hard, our first instinct is to quit. I can't do it. I'm tired. I just can't go anymore. It's too hard. These are the things I used to say. But I have learned that I can. I can give just a little more. I can do one more push up. I can go one more mile. I can learn it. I can finish it. I can get out of bed. Whatever it is, I can do it. Because I know that I can do hard things. 6. I choose to live. All the days ordained for me were determined before one of them came to be (Psalm 139:16). I do not choose the number of my days on this earth, but I choose how to live them. Some days . . . some moments . . . life on this earth is not my favorite. Sometimes the pleasure becomes obstructed by the work . . . the sadness . . . the ugliness . . . the injustice . . . the brokenness . . . the ongoing and after-effects of grief. Yet I have a choice to make in that. I can choose to simply exist in this world for the days ordained for me. Or I can choose to live - with purpose, with love, with ambition, with excitement, with hope and with joy. And I choose to live.
7 Comments
Andrea Duhon
6/22/2019 09:32:01 am
Thank you for this! I needed it today and it was very encouraging.
Reply
Jennifer Nunley
6/22/2019 01:01:47 pm
Very encouraging! Thank you for this. Why is it we feel we “should” do this or that? What others think or we think we should do often consume us.
Reply
Beth
6/22/2019 01:36:12 pm
"I can do hard things."......yes you can and have and do and will keep doing. Thank you for reminding me inadvertently that I can do hard things to ♥️
Reply
Tiffany Miller
6/22/2019 01:37:55 pm
Thank you for sharing. I am working in many of these things myself. It's so encouraging to hear from another woman that it's okay for us to take care of ourselves! ❤️
Reply
Patty Tabor
6/22/2019 09:54:15 pm
Thank you so much for sharing your heartfelt insights. Your family is in my prayers.
Reply
Shannon Louk
6/24/2019 09:36:18 am
This is a powerful and important reminder - thank you for sharing!
Reply
Andrea L Houston
7/19/2019 11:12:19 am
I know you may not know me. I live in Winfield and my son, Reed. and niece, Allison Weiss, both attended Winfield schools so we know of your amazing family. I just want you to know that your posts are so sincere and so "real" that they touch the hearts of so many of us. I'm sure it is not always easy to write about raw emotions so I admire your willingness to do so. You have a true and special gift for writing like no other. I have taught English in the county for 19 years and your writing ranks with the highest, most talented of all. So, thank you. I appreciate who you are and the impact you have on so many. Blessings, Andrea
Reply
Leave a Reply. |
Archives
March 2020
Categories |