We took a vacation last week with our kids and it was unlike anything we had ever done before. We had never taken a spring break trip, never been on a cruise, never seen the water of the Caribbean, and never sat in an airport with 4 kids for 7 1/2 hours. We planned a trip that was fun and exciting and different than any other vacation we had previously taken. We wanted it to be different. We needed it to be different.
It was our first trip as the Cobb 7 without seven. There were only six of us this time. We laughed and played and swam and ate and explored and putt putt-ed and danced and washed all that down with a little (a lot?) of ice cream by the pool. And we took pictures of all of it. Our first pictures without Katie. It had to be done. I knew it did. I had established that as one of my goals for this year: to take a family picture again. Such a simple thing ("Hey, you guys stand over there together and I'll take your picture!") yet I had avoided it entirely. But I knew that would be part of stepping forward through this convoluted journey of grief. April 10th marked 18 months without Katie. As I sat with God on this morning, we discussed one of my favorite passages in Isaiah 43. Forget the former things: do not dwell in the past. See, I am doing a new thing! Now it springs up; do you not perceive it? I am making a way in the desert and streams in the wasteland (verses 18-19). God is not telling me in this verse to forget about what happened in the past or to let go of memories. He is very clear in numerous other places that we are to remember our history, our times of joy and sadness, and his faithfulness in those. I think we can understand his intention better when we read the phrase: do not dwell in the past. Do not dwell on what used to be or what could have been. Do not live in the past in a way that hinders your ability to live in the present or to look ahead to the future. He says, I am doing a new thing . . . making a way in the desert. The beautiful part of knowing a God who loves redemption is that he can take what feels like a desert and what looks like a wasteland to me and he can create a path of hope through it. The desert does not just go away. The feeling of a parched tongue . . . a sorrowful heart . . . an empty spot in the picture . . . does not just go away. But right through the middle of it all, there is a way forward. As I read this morning, I heard God saying to me . . . Remember. Always remember. But don't dwell in the past. Look. See. I am still doing new things in your life. I know this feels like a desert. A wasteland. It may always feel like that a little bit - or a lot. But I am making a way through it for you. A path. A stream. I give hope. Hope that there is something more on the other side of the desert. So, fear not, for I have redeemed you. I have called you by name; you are mine. When you pass through the waters, I will be with you. When you pass through the rivers, they will not sweep over you. When you walk through the fire, you will not be burned. For I am the Lord, your God. You are precious and honored in my sight. And I love you (Isaiah 43:1-4).
6 Comments
Katie Fuller
4/11/2019 11:52:22 pm
Thank you for allowing God to speak through you helping others of us going thru grief. I have been and will continue to pray for you all. "Fear" has always been a struggle of mine since the passing of several loved ones. The scriptures you post and have posted now from Deuteronomy calms me. Katie continues to be a witness for the Lord thru you. It is truly amazing and beautiful how God allows this to continue from our earthly bodies. Not even Satan can destroy her memory. We will forever ponder them in our hearts until we are reunited with "them" again. What a day that will be. By the way, I love her name. Katie means pure. It sounds as if she lived up to her name. From what I have heard she had the purest heart. It must have been so special to be her mother. It continues to be I'm sure as you so eloquently write about her. I have never met you all but it makes me proud of you. I look forward to reading more of your articles. Again, thank you. Sincerely, Katie
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Samantha Craig
4/12/2019 05:57:43 am
I needed this. Thank you.
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Shannon Louk
4/12/2019 10:24:08 am
Annie spoke with such excitement about your upcoming trip. I found myself stopping and praying that you each would find joy and see moments of Katie through your adventures. I prayed that although different, (I didn’t know it was your first trip, but I imagined it might be) your time together would be one of rest, connection and excitement. All the firsts are so tough. I have found that my fear of them often overpowers the moment when I just do them. In those moments through nothing short of the grace of God I do find joy and I find hope. Bless you all.
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Donetta
4/12/2019 01:00:54 pm
Your an amazing follower of Christ
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Brenda Cobb
4/15/2019 07:48:08 am
Beautifully done. Thank you for sharing.
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Karen Runion
6/15/2019 01:35:15 pm
I have known Kevin Bell since he was a teenager and, through his sharing on Facebook, have followed Katie’s journey through your words. I have cried with you, prayed with you, mourned with you, and rejoiced with you. And we wouldn’t even know it if we passed each other in Kroger!
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