Easter represents both sorrow and joy. For Christ followers, it is a holiday set aside to recall both the death and the resurrection. Utter despair. Complete grace. Renewed hope. Easter weekend two years ago was when Katie's cancer relapsed suddenly and fiercely. After hearing the doctors in Charleston say there was nothing else they could do, we arranged to have her flown to Cincinnati in hopes of a miracle. April 19th, 2017. I recall those days with such detail. I remember the despair . . . the grace . . . and the hope once we arrived in Cincinnati. As I reflected on this at the Good Friday service, I thought about how so many of our songs bring the death of Jesus to a personal level. The blood of Jesus shed for me. Jesus loves even me. That my king would die for me. We stress the idea that Jesus died as a sacrifice for me and my sin so that the gospel goes from being an event that happened in history to an act that directly affects me. This is what makes my relationship with God the Father and the Son a lot less churchy and a lot more personal. And it should - because this is the difference between believing in Jesus' existence and believing in him for salvation. Sometime ago, however, I was struck by a different thought as I sat during communion. Communion is a chance to slow down and reflect on the gift of Jesus on the cross. We are often encouraged to take a few minutes to think of our own lives and faults and need for rescue, and to then feel the indebtedness we have to Jesus for providing that rescue. I appreciate this opportunity to do just that, as I express my gratitude that Jesus Christ died for me. However, one particular day, as I sat holding the bread and cup of communion, I was overcome by a deep awareness that Jesus died for Katie. He died to give Katie life. I don't think I had ever appreciated the death of Christ for another person the way I did that day. As grateful as I am for Jesus' love for me, I am just as grateful for his love for my kids. My daughter dances before the throne of God the Father today because of the sacrifice of Jesus the Son. Were it not for that, my days would be housed in despair without any window for hope. One of things I have heard my mom frequently say is this: "You can't take anything to Heaven with you - except your kids." All of your accumulated stuff, the things you can't live without, the junk you work so hard to buy . . . all of it will stay in this broken world. The only thing that you can put your hand on in this life that you will possibly touch again in the next life is people. You can take your children with you to eternity. In this life, you can help them with their science fair project, cheer them on in every game, take way too many prom pictures, and pay for them to get the best college education. But it is the modeling, teaching, loving, instructing, guiding, and pointing them to the cross that enables you to hold your child's hand in this world and again in the next. Easter is painful for me. Yet I am grateful for the cross. I have some understanding of the despair. I have experienced the grace. I stand in worship only because of the hope. Only because of Jesus. God loves Katie so much that he sent his only Son and, because she believes in Him,
she will not experience eternal death; rather, she will have eternal life. John 3:16
1 Comment
Shannon Louk
4/25/2019 12:07:31 pm
I attended a service that my nephew was in on Good Friday. Every person in attendance was asked to wear a name tag. It was so powerful to see each person in that church place their name on the cross. It's important to remind ourselves that it's personal. Thank you for such a beautiful and honest post.
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