What we experience in this life naturally connects us to others. Perhaps for a season. Perhaps for a lifetime. Shared history, shared circumstances, shared emotions.
Like the women with whom I have ran trails and peed in the woods. Yep, hard to explain, but something about that connects me to them. And the families who gutted out Sundays with us when River Ridge church was just a handful of people in an elementary school, trying to share Jesus with a community. We built a bond during that time which still holds. If you have ever spent time in a third world country with a team of people, you probably still feel a connection to them. I know one couple who got married because of that shared experience. So today I ponder the unspoken connections I have to other grieving moms. Unfortunately, I know several moms who have also lost children. Either recently or years ago, the grieving continues and moms know it. As school started this week, my neighbor texted me to say, "The first day of a new school year is always hard." She knows. My college roommate sent a similar message just a few days prior. She knows. One of her former teachers never fails to call when she thinks about Katie's reaction to an event at school. She realizes how important it is to hear Katie's name and that someone else is remembering her. Because she knows. It isn't that other people don't grieve for our children, but no one grieves like a mother. And sometimes, even though it hurts my heart, I am just grateful that I have those friends who understand in a way no one else does. Who else thinks about the sadness hidden in the excitement of the first day of school? Who else understands the pain of filing your daughter's death certificate right next to her birth certificate? Who else can fathom the emotions attached to a cemetery plot? Katie's headstone was placed yesterday. I love it. And I hate it. It is perfect. And utterly terrible. I am so happy to see it in place and to feel the closure it brings. Yet I am so very sad that instead of vacuuming her room or making her bed or fluffing her pillows, all I can do is rub the dirt off the slab of concrete that identifies her broken body. No one can fully understand that except another mom who has lost a child. So at the end of the month, Chad and I are going to a retreat to spend a weekend with a few other couples who have also lost a child. It will be led by David and Nancy Guthrie, a couple who understands and have written several books out of their own pain. We will meet our friends there - James and Laura - whose teenage son also died of cancer just a few weeks before Katie. The opportunity to connect with these other parents will be hard - and healing - because we are made to mourn together. We are made for relationships. Whether those connections are born out of struggling through nursing school together or working night shifts side by side or running trails on Sundays or burying children, God ordains the connections and I simply receive them. These friends know a part of me and understand something that others don't. I know that I am not alone in this world and that there are people who will pick me up when I fall because they walk the same road, whatever that road is. Because of this, I walk with confidence, accepting and inviting the connections made along the way. A friend loves at all times, and a brother is born for adversity. Proverbs 17:17 Blessings, Sarah
7 Comments
Gypsy
8/18/2018 03:32:06 pm
Blessings with LOVE to all.
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John
8/18/2018 11:44:24 pm
We think about Katie all the time. We pray for the Cobb Crew all the time. Love you all. These blog posts are so powerful and you may never truly know how much God is using them to encourage and help others everywhere. Bless you all.
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Sam & Amy
8/19/2018 03:40:32 am
Prayers for you during your conference and hopes that you enlighten each other. God Bless you!!! Love and prayers!!!!
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Bonnie
8/19/2018 08:01:17 pm
Praying for you and your family and that this retreat brings you much needed time with others sharing in your journey.
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Jennifer
8/19/2018 10:58:02 pm
I'm so thankful we were able to struggle through NP school together. You have always been, and continue to be, an inspiration to me. I think of you and Katie often, almost daily actually. Continued prayers. Love and miss you!
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Darlene Geyer
8/20/2018 10:40:08 pm
I thought about your sweet Katie on the first day of
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Shelley
8/20/2018 11:29:58 pm
Thank you Sarah for always sharing your authenticity that allows us the honor of being connected to you. I miss that beautiful Katie smile. This world sucks. I hate how people suffer. I so love the people in it though, like you and Chad and your kiddos. You are a dear blessing.
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