God has taught me a lot about prayer in recent years. Some of these lessons I was eager to learn; others, not so much. Yet I know that God's ultimate purpose for me is to be more like Christ which means that everything he teaches me is leading me toward that.
First of all, what is prayer? I saw a church sign once that read: A prayer is simply a wish turned toward Heaven. I disagree. Prayer is my conversation with God. It is a specific and intentional time (whether it is 2 seconds or 20 minutes) when I share with God (the Father, Son, and Spirit), inviting him to be part of my day-to-day and allowing my day-to-day to be part of Him. It certainly includes asking, but it also includes thinking and confessing and considering and forgiving and acknowledging and listening. Our prayers often center around what we want to see happen in our lives or in another person's life. Protection while we travel. Healing of a disease. Recovery from injury. A good grade. A flawless performance. A job offer. These happenings in our lives on earth are perfectly acceptable topics of conversation with God. We are instructed to take these concerns to him -not because God doesn't know what to do about them or needs help deciding what to do; rather, because he cares about us and what is happening our lives. Several years ago, God began to teach me about praying his Word back to him. I may not know what God's will is for a situation, but I do know that what is in his Word is his desire. So when I am not sure how to pray for someone, I pray his Word back to him. I want God to give me the desires of my heart, but, ultimately, I want my heart to align with that of Christ, so I pray (converse with God) about what is happening and I ask for things that I already know he wants to give. For grace. For peace. For hope. For redemption. It may sound generic to explain it like that, but it has certainly increased the intimacy in my relationship with God. One of my prayers sounds something like this: God, I am so broken for that sweet boy. If he returns to his biological parents, his foster parents lose out on the chance to raise him in a home that honors you. But if he stays in his foster home, his biological parents lose the opportunity to love their own child. That doesn't feel right either. I don't know what is best in this situation. I don't know what to ask for. I have no idea what you are doing or why this is happening in this ugly world. What I do know is that you have a heart for redemption - for making things right. So I beg you to redeem this little guy's life. Redeem all the brokenness he has experienced and make it into something beautiful for you. Maybe that is through reconciliation with his biological parents or maybe that is through a forever home with his foster family. I don't know, but you do. Redeem him, God. A prayer for an exam tomorrow may sound like this: God, you know I have this biology test tomorrow. I spent all evening studying, but I am still a bit anxious about it. Spirit, calm my mind and my body as I go into that classroom. Help me to recall the information I studied but, mostly, remind me of who I am in Christ which is not dependent on my biology grade. So when Andy spoke on Ephesians 3 a few weeks ago, he ended with the verse that Paul prayed for his friends, the Ephesians. I love this prayer and I often use it in praying for others - especially my children. Yes, I want them to be safe. Yes, I want them to be healthy. Yes, I want to do well in school and sports and life. But I don't know what the rest of this life holds for them. Maybe none of those things. What I do know is that Christ wants to dwell in their hearts through faith (3:17), and he wants their lives to be rooted in love (3:18). So while I may pray for protection or healing, my heart aligns with God's as I pray . . . God, enable Aaron to grasp how wide and how long and how high and how deep is your love for him and help him to know this love that surpasses knowledge that he may be filled to the measure of all the fullness of God (3:18-19). And I pray the same for Ben, and Annie, and Daniel. I no longer pray this prayer for Katie. She knows the depth of God's love for her better than me, and she is right now filled to the measure of all the fullness of God. Now to him who is able to do immeasurably more than all we ask or even imagine, according to his power that is at work within us, to him to glory in the church and in Christ Jesus throughout all generations, forever and ever. Amen.
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For we are God's workmanship, created in Christ Jesus for good works, which God prepared beforehand, that we should walk in them. Ephesians 2:10
I remember sitting on my bed with six-year-old Katie, explaining this verse. God planned you, Katie. He has big things for you in this life - good works - that He has already prepared for you to do. You won't always live here with Daddy and me. At this, her jaw dropped, as if she thought I was kicking her out of the house, and I am not sure how much more she heard me say. I went on, And my job, as your mom, is to help you find your way. Not only do I have to teach you how to cook and do laundry and make your own decisions, but I want to help you know who you are in Jesus, because you won't always be here with me. In a few years, you will leave home, and I want you to do some really incredible things that God already has planned for you. I was reminded of this moment as I listened to Chad teach this verse today. I could hear myself saying, Katie, God created you for a purpose . . . you won't always live here with me . . . I have to get you there . . . Recently, I sat on the bed with another of my children. This child expressed the despair that often rises up each day - in such benign situations as reading the name Katie in a word problem on a math quiz. As I attempted to elucidate an answer for how to live, I looked up at the pictures of Katie . . . laughing, smiling and making silly faces with people she loved . . . and I said, I believe that God created Katie for a purpose (Ephesians 2:10) and that he planned her days out perfectly for that purpose (Psalm 139:16). Even when so many people prayed for Katie to be healed and questioned God's answer to that request, I believe God actually gave us a lot of good things (graces) because of those prayers. I believe that Katie's story was exactly what God wanted it to be. Then I looked at my child and said, So if I believe that about Katie's life, then I believe that about my life, too. I believe that God has a purpose for me . . . for my life . . . for my every day. And I believe that he knows exactly the number of days he has ordained for me in that. So I keep getting up and moving forward. Some days, some moments, I stop - just like you did when you looked at that math quiz and saw Katie's name. You stop, you think, you remember. But then you finish the test. Me, too. Sometimes I pause. Sometimes I am paralyzed by the memory. Some days I don't want to continue. I don't want to finish the test. I don't want to move forward. But I do. And you can, too. I get out of bed every day because of Ephesians 2:10. Because I am uniquely and gracefully crafted by God for something incredible which he has already planned for me. Just like Katie. |
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